Today was a day of emotional turmoil for me. One of those days you inevitably have to go through in the jungle of feelings called life. My problem,like thousands of women out there,is trying to get over the man who broke my heart. I was given no reasons,no explanations,nothing. It felt like a song gone bad... "Feel free to blame me for everything,it's all my fault ,not yours..." complete with the "Never contact me,Forget my name" disco remix. Nice,right?
I've tried the never thinking about it dance, not talking about it and pretending it never happened. It just doesn't seem to be working. Then I tried the talking about it to my closest friends and just getting out the hurt approach,which isn't working very well either. All it has done is make me edgy and jumpy and short of breath...Taking every breath seems like an effort...And the hurt is not going any place far either...
I believe in tackling problems analytically. After careful analysis, I have reached at a conclusion. It hints at the real reason why I can't move on.
1. He did not give me a reason. One day it is all nice and I'm all dreamy...and within hours... I get "Don't ask me for a reason" etc etc
2. That coupled with my already high sense of self-criticism is not exactly helpful in maintaining mental peace...(I'm not even going to mention words like happiness...am not sure that it even exists any more...)
Shouldn't there be a law preventing people doing something like this to other people? I mean,it is not exactly nice right? In all honesty,I really had thought that this was 'it'...my happily ever after...I think it is safe to say that that's all in water now. I have never intentionally hurt another person badly. So it seems rather unfair that something like this happened to me...But then no one said that life is fair right...
I had an in-depth discussion about this and more with one of my guy friends. He said something that made me think...Don't concepts like True Love exist any more? Or am I the only fool who still believes in moon rays and star dust and happily ever afters??? Isn't there like one nice man out there?? One who is nice and sweet and kind...and like a Gentleman??? Oh How I hate such questions hanging in the air without any answers!!! Sigh !!!
Dudette, I love you. Amazing post. Stop criticising yourself.
ReplyDeleteWhoever said that your girlfriends are your salvation is absolutely right...i love you too babe:)
ReplyDeletehaaaa, i know how you feel. When someone goes away without giving you the reason. It just kills you.
ReplyDeletebut honestly dont be sad. be mad at them and the best way to be mad at them is not write blogs abt sorrow. Just flush them as you flush the garbage. And move on. Move on so fast and so quick that next that person tries to look you up they should be like wtf happened here.
because honetsly, the least one person can do is confront you or give you a good reasoning and then let you explain your side of story. Especially when they promise you that they will stick with you all times and always trust you and atleast let you tell your side of story before taking any decision.
This is what i did. May be you should do also. Ignore that person as if they dont exist anymore. And find someone and move on. yes it hard, its painfull and may be impossible. But trust me. in our darkest hour we find the hope.
Its been just a week and i met a gal so amazing that im hitting myself with slippers that i ever ran behind the bitch who fooled me and ran away from me without ever confronting me or giving the reason.
I never cursed her. guess i loved her too much to see in pain. but i rest my case with god almighty. Just as i didnt got a proper reasoning and confrontation. One day she will also face a similar situation where someone will just walkaway and then she will remember me. But i will be super happy and smiling then :-).
Now stop criticizing and feeling sad. Feel mad and hate that person. and the ebst way to hate or mad is to ignore them and feel like they dont exist anymore. You will feel much better. and move on :-)
Thank you ..that's food for thought :)
ReplyDeletewaisay if u r on facebook, check out my IFANTACIZE page.. im sure it will bring a smile on page. lol its very cheesy. ha ha. hope u get over this soon.
ReplyDeleteI love ur london pics. Im starting my masters in september in cardiff univ. so may i will get a chance to visit london often.